Gardens and Baseball

According to a recent Lifeway study, less than 10% of kids who attend church talk about faith issues with their parents or grandparents at home. In other words, in the majority of those who attend American churches, the mini-van is loaded up on Sunday mornings to go to church for a few hours, but when everybody heads home no one is really talking about it.

Few are praying with their kids or grandkids other than mealtime. Few are reading the Bible with their kids or grandkids. Few are serving with their kids or grandkids.

Again, less than 10% of kids who have a religious experience on Sunday morning for an hour are talking about said religious experience for the other 167 hours of the week.

And we get consultants. And we do research. But we wonder why we’re losing the next generation.

Steve Stroope once made a connection between the way children are discipled and the way in which normal, everyday tasks are taken care of. He made the observation that our society has become a service-oriented economy where we outsource pretty much everything. We outsource the care of our lawn to the lawn guy. We outsource our laundry to the dry cleaners. We outsource our taxes to the accountant. Of course these are all very good and convenient things. However, it seems that we have also lumped in something that was never meant to be outsourced: the spiritual formation of our children.

It also seems that currently we are experiencing some of the natural consequences of a primarily church-specific model of faith formation for children. Now there are numerous other factors involved of course. I don’t want to seem like we’re being ignorantly reductionistic about sociological and theological matters. After all, as Ed Stetzer says, “Screaming the sky is falling may sell books, but it doesn’t solve the problem.”

However, this is a problem for which we indeed have a solution. That’s why we believe that the church has a major part to play in the spiritual formation of the next generation too. The job of the church is to equip the saints for the work of ministry (Ephesians 4:12). Like we often say at Faith Fellowship — the most effective ministry ideas are in the congregation so that is why we are equipping parents and grandparents to inspire and nurture the faith of the next generation.

This is what we pledge to do at Faith Fellowship. We are going to remind you of your God-given role but even more than that we are going to equip, inspire and get behind you. We will wring ourselves out coming alongside you. But real talk now; we can’t do your job for you.

Vision: Family Ministry as a Garden

Churches have never been more creative in their programming or resourced in their facilities. Churches in our city alone have multiple floors for their children’s ministries, audio/visual technology that rivals the Toyota Center, and large indoor playgrounds that serve as spiritual successors to Discovery Zone. Don’t get me wrong, these are great and wonderful innovations. Countless families both in and outside the church are served (including my own) as well as numerous Gospel conversational opportunities are possible.

And yet, why is it that according to a recent Lifeway Research Study, 70% of those children are statistically likely to walk away from their faith in the first few years of college? Again, something has to change.

Interestingly enough, about 35% of those children who do walk away from their faith in college will come back in their late-20s and early-30s because of one particular life stage catalyst — they have kids.

The thinking typically goes like this: “Well, I grew up in church and got a good foundation of faith. I want my kids to grow up in church and get a good foundation of faith. The church is the place to get it, so we’ll start going to church.” Think of this mindset like watering a plant. The church has the Living Waters of the Gospel so parents or grandparents take their children to church because that is where children will get watered so to speak. The only problem is that the Living Water seems to just drip off because, like we’ve already said, we’re still losing the next generation. Why are the roots not growing deeper?

So the next step in this thinking typically like this: “Well, we know what the problem is. We just need to go to a bigger church where there are better programs. Maybe the youth pastor wears Jordans and skinny jeans and he’ll get them really excited about the faith!” However, just like before the Living Water drips off of them at the larger church as well and faith doesn’t take root.

So what do we do now?

Could it be that the real problem is that we aren’t taking into account God’s original design for discipleship and faith formation? Could it be that we aren’t growing the plants in the environment in which they were originally intended to grow? God’s original design is that the Living Waters of the Gospel would fall into the the rich and fertile soil of a home. Because it is in the context of the family and the Gospel poured into the home that a child’s faith roots will grow deep.

Practice: Family Ministry Baseball

So we’ve diagnosed the problem and we know God’s solution from Scripture. What might that look like at Faith Fellowship then? I think it’s helpful to think in terms of baseball.

Few experiences rival sitting in the stands eating a hotdog and watching a baseball game. The MLB season has just begun but even in the warm feeling of an April afternoon, the faint whispers of what could be in the cool October night runs through the bleachers. I don’t have to be James Earl Jones in suspenders telling you people will come out to Minute Maid for an experience like that.

But baseball and family ministry? How do those fit together? Well one of our core values in our children and family ministry at Faith Fellowship is to promote the church and family partnership to see God raise up kids who love God, love each other and love our world. And for every event and initiative that we do in Faith Kids we are going to see it through the lens of that particular core value on a baseball diamond. Let me explain.

Hitting Singles: Ministry Programs for Kids at Church

As a ministry, we hit one single every week when kids go into the Fellowship Hall and hear about the big story of Scripture. We need those singles. As a church, we can’t win without those singles. Kids being taught the Gospel and growing in their faith in Jesus while at church is an incredible, life-transforming thing. The thing about only hitting singles that we have already seen however is that it’s just not enough to win.

Hitting Doubles: Ministry Programs for Kids with their Parents and/or Grandparents

We also need to hit some stand-up doubles as a church. Hitting a double is intentionally programming missions opportunities and ministry events to involve both kids and their parents and/or grandparents together. Instead of creating ministry silo’s so to speak, the idea of hitting doubles is about bringing the generations together as we work toward an effective and healthy multigenerational church family.

Hitting Triples: Programs that Train Parents and/or Grandparents to Disciple Their Kids

If there are 168 hours in the week and the average family typically spends 1 of those hours at church, then the overwhelming majority of possible spiritual formation of children is obviously outside the church. Hitting triples are the reason the Faith at Home initiative itself is being launched. We want to equip and inspire families to create or continue an environment of spiritual growth in their home.

Hitting Home Runs: Parents and Grandparents Provide Spiritual Training and Discipleship at Home

When Kirk Gibson hobbled around the bases after hitting that walk-off home run back in 1988, the Dodgers rushed the field and celebrated the win because there was a man already on base. The home run was the hope. It was the end result and what brought the win. The home run for Faith Fellowship is like that. Singles can turn into home runs when parents and grandparents talk in the car about what they learned at church. A home run is when a grandson asks his grandpa why the sky is blue and his grandpa uses that moment to talk to his grandson about how big, powerful and beautiful God is. Yahtzee. Gone. Home run. Doubles can turn into home runs. Triples can turn into home runs. What we want to see at Faith Fellowship is parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles regularly going yard with their children. God’s original design is that the Gospel and spiritual formation would grow in the rich environment of a home. When that happens, it’s a home run.