Long Distance Grandparenting

Even if you are committed to prioritizing your life around your grandchildren’s lives, just about every grandparent will have some of their grandchildren living far away from them. If you find yourself in a long distance grandparenting relationship, consider these four suggestions.

Leverage Your Devices

Most of us carry the best tool for staying close in our pockets. Phones and tablets can put grandparents instantly and frequently in touch with grandchildren. Granted, some people feel they are too old to learn technology but that is an attitude conscientious grandparents can't afford to have.

With tablets and phones, grandparents hold in their hands powerful tools for staying close to their grandchildren. If you don't know how to post on Facebook or Instagram, or even send a text message, just ask one of your grandchildren! Like so many other things that are learned, after texting and/or social media is done a few times, it will seem as if you were doing it your entire life.

Leverage Your Conversations

It is a good idea to call or Facetime armed with some current information about what is goin on inn your grandchildren's life. Grandparents can ask about school, sports, friends, trips, camps and special occasions. However, conversations shouldn't be limited to what the grandchild is doing. Spend time finding out what they think about them too.

Because of the relationship grandparents have built with their grandchild, he or she may feel safe to talk about some of her feelings and frustrations. This is where the relationship comes to a fork in the road. You have the opportunity to hear them out and leave them feeling as if they have been heard and understood.

Here are a few tips for being a good sounding board to your grandchildren:

• Listen as they describe a problem or feeling.

• Give them time to talk it out and don't interrupt.

• When you do speak, express understanding for what your grandchild is going through.

• Don't try to fix the problem or give advice unless you're specifically asked.

• Avoid criticizing the people a grandchild is mad at or disappointed in -- especially the parents, siblings or other grandparents.

• Affirm your love and availability. Grandchildren most likely know what you think of their choices. What they need to know most is that they have inn you a safe harbor for their hearts and a place to repent when they finally come around.

Pray for Your Grandchildren

Checking in with parents on a regular basis in order to stay informed about all that is happening in their grandchildren's lives gives grandparents information to pray for their specific needs every day.

Grandchildren have things they are excited about, hoping for, and worried or disappointed over. When grandparents intentionally take these things that mean so much to their grandchildren to the God to whom they mean so much, they become closer to grandparent's hearts.

Grandparents may not be on grandchildren's minds as much as they are on theirs, but God can absolutely use the power of a praying grandparent to bless them!

Surrogate Grandparents

Even if grandchildren don’t live close, grandparents can still have grandchildren in their everyday lives. So many families could use some older, wiser people crossing their paths. Our church and community has single moms and dads who are carrying enormous loads and divorces often take grandparents out of the picture for their children. You could play a huge role in being a “grandparent” for these families. A private discussion with your pastor or a sensitivity to single families is most likely all you would need to connect.

9 Things to Make the Most of Distance

1. Write a letter or send a card often.

2. Keep your mental picture up to date so as not to send or say something contrary to your grandchild’s age.

3. If you don’t have one, consider getting a social media account on Facebook or Instagram. Even better, ask your grandchildren to set it up for you and explain.

4. Set up a Facetime or Zoom call each week.

5. Text pictures to each other.

6. Text or call your grandchildren on the phone often. Follow up on any major life events such as games, performances and big tests.

7. Plan to be a part of family vacations as often as asked. Make a photo album of these special times.

8. Invite your grandchildren to come and spend the week with you for individual time.

9. Do your best to be with your grandchildren for celebrations and milestones in their lives such as births, recitals, holidays, baptisms, graduations and weddings.

For more ideas on how to make the most of long distance grandparenting, check out Extreme Grandparenting: The Ride of Your Life by Tim and Darcy Kimmel.